Don't Make Me Mad
by TheLittleSunflower
Summary: Gilbert takes it upon himself to make Matthew as mad as possible to see what Matt does when he's mad. PruCan. Rated T for language.
1. The Challenge

**Okay guys, have this disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own these characters or Hetalia. They belong to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own the plot though! (If I did own everything, Hetalia would have a lot more PruCan. And I mean a LOT)**

 **Warnings: yaoi, Prussia-ness, slight swearing, and possible implications of explicit things (I don't know, it's got Prussia in it, so it is very likely, but it's tbd)**

 **Human and country names used.**

 **On with the story then!**

* * *

Chapter 1: The Challenge

Gilbert sat at the table, leaning back and watching his boyfriend cook. He stood up and sneaked over to the stove, snaking his arms around the man's waist, receiving a small yelp in return.

"Gil! You almost made me burn the food!"

He laughed. "Sorry Birdie."

He got a small "hmpf" in reply as Matthew turned back to the stove, flipping over the pancake and turning the sausages on the other side. Gilbert kept his arms around Matthew and Matt leaned onto him.

"Hey Gil?"

"Mmm?"

"I gotta go by America's place today for a meeting."

"Do you have to?"

"Yes. I don't have a choice." Matthew turned around, throwing his arms around his beloved albino's neck, giving him a kiss.

"You could skip the meeting and stay here with me."

Matthew smiled. "You know I can't."

Gilbert gave an overdramatic sigh. "Yeah, I know. When are you leaving?"

He buried his face into the other's neck. "After we eat."

"Then I better eat slowly."

Matthew gave him a little squeeze before turning around to turn off the stove. Gilbert grabbed some plates and Matthew put the food onto them, Gilbert setting them on the table and Matthew getting the utensils and maple syrup.

They sat down to eat. They always had some strange conversation during breakfast. Today, it was whether or not Arthur was mentally insane.

"No, I swear I saw flying mint bunny once."

Gilbert looked at him in feign concern. "Mattie, I think you're going insane, too."

"I'm serious! I saw a green thing with wings flying around Arthur! It was when Russia sat on me!"

"Wait, he has a blue-purplish aura, right?"

Taking another bite of his pancake drenched with maple syrup, he replied, "Yeah, so?"

"That day, I had Gilbird fly into your guys' meeting and attack Arthur while I watched from the window. Blue and yellow make green, so Ivan's aura-thing probably made your eyes mix up the colors."

Matthew gasped. "You have a fundamental understanding of science!"

The albino poked Matt with his fork. "Shut up."

After a bout of laughter, Matthew finally calmed down enough to say, "Alright, maybe Arthur is just lonely and made up some friends to talk to."

"No, he really thinks they're there."

Matthew was about to counter before he glanced at his watch and realized how late it was. "Oh, I have to go!" He jumped up and gave his boyfriend a kiss. He was headed towards the door when he was pulled onto a lap and encased inside a pair of strong arms. "Gil! I have to go right now!"

"Mmm 5 more minutes."

"Gil!"

A sigh. "Okay, fine." He let go and watched as his love started running towards the door, leaving, but not without first turning around and waving. Gilbert waved back and decided to clean up the dishes.

* * *

Matthew got home the next morning, having slept over at Alfred's house, and was excited to tell his boyfriend what had happened. The meeting had been to decide what other goods should be included in the trades between America and Canada. But Francis had shown up. Their bosses had decided to include France in their trade. Matthew had been really excited because he knew all the good things Francis had in his country, having been raised by him.

He happily bounded through the door. "Sorry I'm late. Alfred really wanted to have a sleepover and you know how he is. Anyway, guess what- what happened here?"

In front of him was his normally very neat house with beer cans everywhere, glass shards on the floor, furniture flipped over, and a very exhausted Gilbert on the floor. "Spain, France, visit. Romano mad."

"You let Romano, the small Italian, beat all three of you guys up?" Matthew was obviously amused.

"He brought in the whole damn mafia! Just because Antonio accidentally left him at the mall after making him dress up as a tomato and stealing his other clothes!"

"That sounds like a very justifiable reason to be mad."

"Not mad enough to sic a mafia on your boyfriend!"

"You don't know what tricks I've got up my sleeve. Don't make me mad."

Gilbert pulled himself up off the ground. "Oh really now? You cute little thing? What could you possibly do that is equivalent to a mafia?"

"I won't do it unless I'm really mad. And it takes a lot to make me mad."

Gilbert smiled, devilishly. The kind of smile that only comes out when he's planning something. Something big. And it's never a good thing. "Is that a challenge?"

"Oh god, why are you looking at me like that?"

"The awesome me will get you mad enough to show me what you've got, and then I can determine the truthfulness of your statement."

"Just what exactly are you planning?"

Gilbert said nothing, still having that look in his eyes. Thinking of a way to make his awesome plan work.

* * *

 **Hi everyone! This part is really short, even for a prologue type thing. I have a suspicion that most of the chapters are either going to be really short, or there won't be many chapters. Or both. Sorry in advance!**

 **Please tell me what you think! All feedback is appreciated!**

 **Bye for now! Nicoli out**


	2. Initiating The Awesome Plan

**Welcome to chapter 2! In which everyone dies!**

 **Just kidding! Did I scare you there? I don't think so. Oh well. Anyway, disclaimer. Is America always in the background riding his unicorn? No? Then I don't own Hetalia!**

Chapter 2: Initiating The Awesome Plan

Gilbert sat in his and Matt's room, thinking of the best ways possible to make his Mattie really mad. It shouldn't be too hard. He was always able to piss off Elizaveta and Rodereich fairly easily. He knew exactly what buttons to push. Say, for example, supergluing a certain frying pan to the ceiling. Or hiding the glasses of a certain Austrian. That was it! The first thing on his awesome "Make Birdie Mad" list was written down. And he set off to do it.

In the middle of the night, Gilbert got up, grabbed Mattie's glasses and ran off to find the perfect hiding place. 'Not the kitchen, he always makes food. Not the bathroom. Oh I know!'

Gilbert ran outside, looking up at the extremely tall maple tree in the backyard. He smirked, remembering how he was able to climb the tree all the way to the top when Mattie wasn't home. He quickly put the glasses in his pocket, scrambling up the tree (very gracefully, he might add), and sticking the glasses on the highest branch, making sure they wouldn't fall.

However, he wasn't so lucky. He lost his footing and down he went...

 **(I'm sorry! Couldn't resist. But that's not what happened. You can all rest easy. Back to the real story.)**

He could've enlisted the aid of Gilbird to help him place the glasses, but lately he's been hanging out with Kumajirou more than him. Not that he was jealous or anything. No, not at all.

He climbed back down, sneaking back into bed.

* * *

The next morning, Matthew woke up to a smiling Gilbert.

"Hi Mattie." Matt reached his hand out to his bedside table. He looked over when he didn't feel his glasses, not surprised. Gilbert's wide grin fell off his face when he watched Matt open the drawer and grab another pair of glasses.

"You do realize my brother is Alfred? We have the same prescription and he loses his glasses a lot. I can't tell you how many times he barged in, took the glasses off my face and ran out. I have them stashed all over the house."

Gilbert mentally swore at himself. He forgot who Matt was related to, meaning he was used to pranks and things like that. He would have to step up his game. And he had another awesome idea. He bolted out of bed, closing the door behind him, taking a rubber band from his pocket and putting the rubber band on the doorknob of their room and to the doorknob of the room across the hall. He then ran down to the kitchen, grabbing all the ingredients for pancakes. After watching Matt make them for so long, he memorized what all the ingredients were.

He took them and looked around, thinking where he could hide them. That is, until a certain Canadian took them out of his hands. "You think that's all the pancake stuff I have? Considering how much you and Al eat?"

"How did you get out?"

Matt shrugged. "We have a window."

Gilbert gaped at him. "But it's a second story window!"

"Your point is?"

He knew it wasn't too high up, but still. "You could've hurt yourself!"

"You locked me in a room. Was I supposed to just sit there?"

"Yes."

Matt sighed and proceeded to make pancakes. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Shut up Gil!"

The entire day, Gilbert had decided to speak in a French accent. Since he already had a German accent, his fake one was absolutely horrible.

"But mon cherie, my accent is magnifique, is it not?"

"Non! Ce n'est pas! Et vous prononcez tout faux!" **(No! It is not! And you are pronouncing everything wrong! ~French)**

"Darling Mathieu, you know I do not understand a word you have said."

Matthew sighed. "Fine. Nein! Es ist nicht! Und Sie Aussprechen werden alles faisch! How was that?" **(Same translation. ~German)**

Gilbert did a double-take. "Wait, when did you learn German?" His French facade falling.

Matthew blushed, looking away after he realized just what he had said. "I was learning it for you. I had Ludwig teach me."

Gilbert smiled. "My cute little Birdie, learning my language. That's awesome."

"Awesome enough to stop whatever you're doing?"

"Non!"

Matt sat on the couch and turned on the television, trying to drown out the sound of his boyfriend trying to imitate Francis's accent.

* * *

 **Do not fret, my dears, there is more to come! But this is short, like I thought it would be. Sorry!**

 **I would like to say that everything Gilbert does has either come from me or my friends, EllaStarbrook and Alfred-Jones Kirkland, without whom, the story might've ended already if I couldn't come up with more ideas.**

 **If translations are wrong, please tell me and I will change it!**

 **Please review, it would make me happy. And you get a cookie! Nicoli out!**


	3. Beginning to Crack

**I am sorry everyone that the update is late. It would have been here sooner, but I have been SUPER busy. And I couldn't figure out which things Gilbert should do. I was going to do something else, but I have to save that for later.**

 **So disclaimer! Be glad I do not own Hetalia because the world would then implode.**

Chapter 3: Beginning to Crack

Gilbert had the most wicked smile resting upon his face. He got up, making sure he wouldn't wake Mattie, and ran to the bathroom, grabbing his supplies, heading back, and starting his new plan.

Mattie woke up in the morning to a very chipper Gilbert. Normally, this would surprise him because although he was a morning person when he wasn't hungover (which wasn't very often), he was never smiling as widely as he was now. Okay, that was a lie, but it wasn't too often. However, in light of recent events, Matt figured it was another one of his boyfriend's mindless pranks.

"What'd you do this time, Gil?"

Gilbert frowned, or at least tried to and failed. "What, don't you trust me?"

"Not one bit."

Gilbert would be upset, but his little project, as he liked to call it as it was definitely not just a prank, made him laugh too much to read too much into the statement.

Matthew pulled the covers off him, not skipping a beat when he noticed the reason Gilbert was so excited. He had painted his nails bright pink while he was asleep.

He walked into the bathroom, again not skipping a beat at the sight of the other half of Gil's excitement. He had also given him a complete makeover, not going easy on the, well, anything. Blue eyeshadow covered his eyelids and almost half of his forehead. His cheeks were as pink as his nails from the extensive amount of blush. His lips were covered with a dark red lipstick.

Matthew said nothing as he grabbed some makeup remover and took off everything Gilbert had put on his face. Then, he used nail polish remover to take the bright pink off of his hands, Gilbert watching with his mouth hanging open.

"Why do you have EVERYTHING?"

"Alfred sometimes brings Elizaveta over when she tries to dress him up, and once she figures out who I am, she does worse than this while Alfred sneaks out. It's happened more times than you think it would."

Gilbert huffed, realizing he needed to do things that couldn't be so easily taken care of.

Matthew came home after an extremely tiring G8 meeting in which Belarus had burst in and tried to kill everyone, specifically Matthew seeing how Russia had sat on him. Again. He just wanted to go home and relax on his couch. However, he forgot one little detail. His boyfriend.

He walked into his house and collapsed on the couch, closing his eyes and deciding to lay there for a few minutes. Maybe a few hours.

Gilbert watched from the kitchen. He smirked and walked out, making sure not to make any noise. He slowly approached the figure on the couch and pounced.

Once, Matthew had told Gilbert how much he HATED being tickled. It was all Alfred had done when they were little and he had had enough of it. He now realized that this was a mistake. Gilbert knew all of Matthew's most ticklish spots, and tickled the living daylights out of him, causing Matt to howl in laughter.

"Gil! Stop!" Gilbert had climbed on top of him, not letting him escape, enjoying watching Matt squirm underneath him. Normally, Matthew would've pushed him off by now, but he was way too tired to even move.

"Mathieu! I didn't get a chance to speak with you at the meeting. We need to-" Francis walked through the door that Matt had forgot to close in his tiredness, stopping in his tracks at the scene before him, a smirk present on his face. "Ohonhon, what is going on here, hmm?"

Gilbert had stopped tickling the man underneath him, who called out, "Get off of me!"

"Mm, nope!" Before Matt knew what was happening, Gilbert had leaned down and kissed him deeply. Matthew tried to resist, now extremely uncomfortable, but he was too tired to actually do anything and let himself be kissed.

Francis cleared his throat, bringing Matthew back to his senses and was finally able to successfully push Gilbert off of him and onto the ground.

He stood up, straightening his clothes and flattening down his hair, extremely aware of the fact that his lips were most likely swollen. "Hello Papa. What were you here for?"

Francis, still smirking, showed Matthew the papers in his hands. "We need to finalize the trade agreements, but it seems you are busy. I will just come back later."

"No, no, I'll get you some wine and we can look over the papers. / Je vous prie! S'il vous plait restez!" **(I am begging you! Please stay! ~ French. / = language difference)**

Francis looked between his son and his friend. "Alright. As long as I am not intruding."

Gilbert spoke up. "Well actually-"

"Halt den Mund!" **(Shut up! ~ German)**

Gilbert's smirk grew. He was beginning to crack him.

The rest of the time Francis was there, Gilbert did little things to aggravate Matt. Spilling beer everywhere, drinking all of the maple syrup and yelling "Birdie get me more!", playing with the curl on his head that made Mattie blush significantly, and ambushing him at random times to get a kiss. It got to the point where Matt kicked him out of the house. Of course, Gilbert snuck back in and continued to annoy his Birdie.

Once Matt and Francis finished up, Matt apologized many times while showing him out.

When Matthew closed the door after being reassured that Francis was used to Gilbert's antics, being his friend and all, Gilbert asked, "Are you mad enough yet?"

"No, but you will sleep on the couch tonight."

"Wha- Mattie!"

Matthew said nothing else and went to his room, throwing a blanket and a pillow at Gilbert before closing the door and locking it.

 **I'm trying to make these longer, I swear! But it's not working! I found some time to write this for you guys and tried to get it out as soon as possible so here you go!**

 **I was having an argument with my friends earlier about PruCan. We RP a lot and I'm always Russia. My friends are Prussia, England, and America but America wasn't present in this conversation. Feel free to skip. Note: We were kinda RPing, mostly not.**

Me: I SHIP PRUCAN

Me: AND ROCHU

Me: PRURUS IS HORRIBLE **(sorry to PruRus shippers)**

Me: I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT

Prussia: I didn't particularly like Canada

England: WHAT IS THIIIIIS

Prussia: Actually I like anybody but Canada and France

England: How is that even possible?

Me: YOU SUCK

Me: PRUCAN FTW

Prussia: I would ship Canada and France

Me: Franada

Prussia: Yeah

England: Mhm. Interesting. I still like France and Joan tho

Me: True that is good

Prussia: Wait then who do I have?

Me: Canada

Prussia: No

Me: Yes

England: You have Romano

Prussia: Yes

Me: NO

Me: STOP IT

England: Why not.

England: HUNGARY MAYBE?

Me: NO

Prussia: Canada can go suck France's dick

Me: ALRIGHT PRUHUN ISN'T BAD

Me: BUT PRUCAN IS MY LIFELINE

Prussia: I'll take Hungary

England: PruHun is adorable. I love Hungary

Me: THE REASON I DON'T LIKE FRANADA IS BECAUSE I LOVE father!FRANCE FOR CANADA SO HE'S OVERPROTECTIVE AND EVERYTHING

Me: Okay, PruHun isn't the worst

Me: BUT IT ISN'T PRUCAN

England: Aww, yeah, I like the concept of the FACE family

Me: The FACE family is adorable

 **I'm sure most of you didn't read that. But if you did, I would like to say that I kinda like Franada and PruHun, but not as much as PruCan. Not even close.**

 **The story is now rated T because I am paranoid.**

 **I have nothing else to say so, Nicoli out!**


	4. Slightly Angry Canadian

**I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I AM SO, SO SORRY! I have no excuse for why this is so late other than procrastinating. I have been meaning to get around to finishing this chapter but you know, one thing lead to another, and I might have forgot about it for a few months…. And I hate when authors leave stories unfinished for long periods of times on a cliffhanger. What an unawesome hypocrite I am, huh?**

 **Prussia: Ja, what is wrong with you?**

 **Canada: Gil! Be nice!**

 **Prussia: Was? I was just stating the obvious.**

 **Me: Hey… I said I was sorry! Anyway, I do not own anything other than this plot. Have a warning: Much swearing from a quiet voice.**

* * *

Chapter 4: Slightly Angry Canadians

Matthew woke up to the sound of, was that screaming? He was startled, to say the least, and sat up as quickly as humanly (or nationly?) possible.

While searching for the source of the noise, which now included some extremely hardcore flute playing, he felt something sticky drop on his head.

"Gilbert, why in the hell are you pouring maple syrup on me?" He tried to keep his calm composure, but he couldn't help the slight growl in his tone. "How are you in here anyway? I locked the door. And put that dresser in front of it." Matthew knew of Gilbert's "special skill" of being able to pick locks in less than ten seconds.

"Well, mein liebling, as you so wonderfully said a few days ago, we have a window."

Matthew inwardly scolded himself. Why hadn't he thought of that?

"As for your other question, I apologize mein liebe, it was simply a slip of the wrist."

Matt rubbed his temples. This conversation was going nowhere. "Can you at least tell me what is with that stupid, incessant flute?"

Gilbert placed a hand over his heart, looking absolutely horrified. "You dare mock the great flute playing of a German death metal band?!"

'This is German death metal? How can this be- oh there it is.' Matthew's thoughts were cut off by the extremely loud, monster-like voice over the flute. Yes, this was definitely German death metal. Why they played the flute, Matthew didn't know, nor did he want to.

"And why are you playing German Death Metal at-" Matthew looked at his clock. "3 in the morning? At the highest volume possible? Some people have actual work to do tomorrow."

"Because I love you, Vogelchen?"

"Fuck you Gil." Matthew threw the covers off to take a shower and get rid of all the maple syrup. As much as he loved the stuff, he didn't want it in his hair. He could hear the sound of his boyfriend's cackling, happy that he was getting somewhere with this plan of his. Matthew's resolve usually lasted much longer, but he was really tired and just wanted this whole thing to be over with. He decided when he does blow, he is not going to hold back. The guy deserves it, boyfriend or not.

"And turn that damn thing off!" Cue more annoying cackling followed by an overly excited "Nope!" Before now, he had never heard his quiet Canadian swear, not even about hockey. If he was honest, it kinda turned him on.

* * *

3 hours later, Matthew decided he had enough of Gilbert atrociously singing along to his music. Gilbert was a good singer, but sang as unawesomely horribly as he could for this occasion. Not only that, but at some point he had switched to German Sparkle Party and was still singing terribly while dancing around. Matthew was somehow able to sleep through the first two hours (he was extremely tired) and he now didn't know how he lasted an hour listening to this without exploding, but he did know he couldn't stand it anymore.

Matthew picked up the dresser and moved it to the side effortlessly, leaving to make himself some pancakes. He had a meeting at 10 and planned to wake up around 7. Which means he has to deal with his boyfriend for another 4 hours. Great.

Gilbert had used up an entire bottle of maple syrup when he dumped it on Matthew, draining his supply. Matthew kept a secret stash of the stuff hidden away in case of emergencies like this (he definitely isn't addicted. Of course not. That's just crazy). He took it out and poured it all over his pancakes.

Meanwhile, Gilbert was hatching more plans to annoy his Mattie as much as possible. Matthew usually did get angry and would scream at some people as loud as he could, which wasn't very loud. But, he never got EXTREMELY angry and Gilbert wanted to see it. He wasn't trying to annoy him for the heck of it. He wasn't a sadist, no matter what some people think (I'm talking to you, West!). He wanted to know just how long Matthew could last, and how far he could go. Better him finding out this way then not knowing what would happen.

Gilbert got out his list and checked off "pour maple syrup" and "play awesome music". He looked down the rest of the list and knew exactly what to do next.

* * *

His plan was awesome! He knew it would work! But he had to wait for Matthew to leave. Let's see, his meeting was at 10? 4 hours, hmm.

Those next few hours were spent with Gilbert doing mostly spontaneous, unplanned annoyances, like running into the kitchen and stealing, then eating, all of Matthew's precious pancakes. Or throwing shoes and clothes all around the room. Or running around and screaming at plants. Yes, plants. There was nothing wrong with it. That was completely normal.

For the first time, not counting the previous days, Matthew wanted to get away from his boyfriend. It had only been a few days, but he already missed the surprise hugs or kisses and Gilbert's overall sweetness (with a tad of obnoxiousness) that he only showed for him. He knew this could all be over soon if he just gave him what he asked for and (*censored information. You don't get until end of story*) but he didn't want to, nor did he have the heart to just yet. If this goes on for much longer then he just might.

3 and a half hours of this torture later and Matthew sprang up, yelling, "OH LOOK AT THE TIME. GOTTA GO BYE" and running out of the door as fast as he could.

Gilbert smirked. Now his real plan could begin. Now where was that super-strength industrial glue…

* * *

Matthew came home after an extremely exhausting day. He had showed up at the meeting after being stuck in traffic, making him effectively late. His boss thoroughly chewed him out while Alfred was snickering in the corner. The first time someone bothers to notice that he was there and this happens. Any moment they weren't talking about international problems and trading finalizations, Alfred was making fun of him, not only for the fact that he was late, but he decided that now was a good time to make fun of his little brother's "Canadianess" like his maple syrup addiction ("I am NOT addicted, Al!" "Sure you aren't dude. You just pour it on everything." "It-it tastes good…" "If you aren't addicted bro, then let me take all of it away from you for a day." "NO!" "Mmhm that's what I thought.")

All Matthew wanted now was to flop onto his couch and lay there for hours. But things never worked out for him, did it?

He walked in, tiredly taking off his boots and his coat. He absentmindedly trudged towards his precious piece of red furniture and plopped down. And landing on the floor. "What the fuck!" Matthew was beginning to open up a lot more around Gilbert because of this little _experiment_ of his, i.e. his language was becoming much more colourful.

"Is something the matter mein liebe?" Gilbert walked into the room, trying his hardest not to let out a huge smirk at his lover on the ground. "Oui Gil. I was simply wondering why my fucking couch disappeared." The Prussian stayed where he was, not making any move to help his boyfriend up. "I wouldn't say that it disappeared…." His gaze travelled to behind Matt, who followed his eyes to the wall, his own eyes widening.

"Gilbert Frederick Beilschmidt, did you fucking glue my couch to the _wall!_ " He was tired and irritable. He didn't know how much more he could take like this. "That is a possibility liebling." Matt sighed. "You're still sleeping on it tonight."

"Wha- Mattie!"

Matthew sighed again and stood up, trying to get as far away from his oh-so-loving boyfriend as possible. As soon as he walked out of the room, he screamed "GILBERT!" and ran back in, holding a very annoyed polar bear. "What. In. The. Hell. Did. You. Do?" Gilbert couldn't hold back a smirk as he watched a very exasperated Mattie hold up a bear with bald spots and matted fur. "Oh ja, I was going to trim his hair, but you see, he doesn't like me very much and resisted, and that happened."

5 deep breaths later and Matthew had calmed down a bit, letting Kuma down to bite and ambush Gilbert and left to his room, slamming the door and locking both it and the window.

"Kesesesese OW GET OFF OF ME YOU DUMMKOPF!"

* * *

 **Sorry for apologizing so much, but sorry again for being so late! (I just apologized for apologizing? I'm becoming Mattie...**

 **Canada: I heard that!**

 **Me: Haha...yeah…) So I think that I'll only have one more chapter of this and I will try to not get distracted again and get it out as soon as possible! I'm also starting to work on another story for my friend and I might post it on here so look out for it! ~Nicole**


	5. Stupid Plans Never Work

The next morning, Matthew awoke and silently trudged to the bathroom, realizing something. It was quiet. Too quiet. It was unsettling. Kuma had been waiting for him and was willingly picked up and held by his owner. Matthew stroked his fur, frowning when it wasn't smooth anymore. He hoped this madness would stop soon and everything could just go back to normal. And that his couch didn't fall and crush everything. How did Gilbert even get that up there? Nevermind, he didn't want to know.

"Who?" Matthew smiled down at a sleepy Kuma and replied, "Your owner, Canada."

"Matthew?" Said man almost did a double-take when his bear, who never remembered his name, said his name. His face broke out into a wide grin. "Yeah Kuma?" The small bear tried to smooth down his matted fur with no luck. "Beat Gilbert's ass, okay?" Matthew's face fell, leaving an unreadable expression that the bear had come to know his owner showed when he was upset. He replied with a small "okay" and let his bear onto the ground, walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

From around the corner, Gilbert /stalked/ was watching Mattie totally uncreepily and let a small smile creep to his face when he saw his boyfriend's wide grin. Even after years of dating, his smile still warmed his heart and he tried anything to make him smile. But he hadn't seen that smile in almost a week. He had barely interacted with his love since this whole thing started, which was punishment enough already. He started to wonder whether all of this was worth it and hoped he wasn't being too much of an asshole that Mattie would break up with him. Then he proudly thought that awesome people should see things through to the end.

Today was Friday, meaning it was Matthew's last meeting on this topic. They could've finished all of their work in one sitting if Alfred would stop fooling around and didn't keep running to Arthur at every break, complaining about how boring it was even though he hadn't done anything. Hopefully they could wrap it all up by the weekend where he could come home to- maybe more meetings would be nice….

Matthew was eating breakfast quietly at the table when Gilbert waltzed in, sitting across from him, saying nothing. He just stared at Matthew the entire time, and it was starting to creep him out. Just what was he planning? Wanting to leave before anything happened, Matthew put his plate in the sink and left without a word, not looking at his boyfriend once. After he left, Gilbert let out a deep breath. He didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. Sure, it was an awesome plan and all, but the plan seemed like it was backfiring. Gilbert had one more thing that he knew would drive him over the edge, if it didn't kill him first.

* * *

During the tiring meeting, Matthew had been right and they finally finalized everything. He could now relax at home and not worry about anything else. He seemed to have forgotten about something. Something important. Oh well, if he couldn't remember, it must not have been too important after all.

By the time Matthew came home, Gilbert was sitting on the couch, reading a book about the history of Prussia. Why would he read that if he lived it? Some things, Matthew would never understand.

"Gil?" Said nation made no indication that he had heard. Matthew walked over to the couch, sitting next to him. "Gilbert?" A page was casually flipped. "Have you gone deaf or something?" He started to poke Gilbert in the face. Nothing. Frustrated, he stood up and nearly yelled, "What is wrong with you?" Gilbert finally looked up.

"Oh hey Alfred. When did you get here?" Matthew felt something inside of him break. But, this can't be happening. Gil wouldn't forget him. Never! "Y-You're joking, r-right?"

"What? Have you been here a while or something?" Matthew didn't see the flicker of guilt flash briefly on Gilbert's face, but Gilbert did see the recognition and remembrance on his. "Fine."

Matthew turned on his heel and went straight towards the bedroom. Wait, he wasn't leaving was he? That wasn't part of the plan! Gilbert was about to get up and go after him when Matthew returned, holding his beloved hockey stick. "You have 3 seconds. 3-" Gilbert shot up and jumped over the back of the couch. "2-" He made a break for the door. "1." He had his hand on the doorknob. Matthew came flying out of nowhere, bringing the hockey stick down upon Gilbert, unleashing his full wrath for the first time in _ages._ Or at least what felt like it. He hadn't been playing hockey in almost 3 months.

Gilbert knew it was a low blow, and knew even more that he should never have exploited his boyfriend's worst fear. Matthew had been ignored, unnoticed, or mistaken for his brother for most of his life and Gilbert had been the only person who had never done so. The Canadian's fear was that eventually Gilbert would get tired of him and forget about him. At this moment, really hated himself for doing this. What was he thinking? He had his mind set on the plan, not even thinking about his lover's feelings in the process, even though that was what the entire plan was about. He didn't even notice what he was doing until he looked up and saw the hurt on Matthew's face. Gilbert had been about to give up entirely, remembering that he was supposed to protect his Birdie from hurting, not cause it, when Matthew had walked away. Now, Gilbert knew he deserved this beating. Every second of it.

Matthew, on the other hand, wasn't simply upset with Gilbert, although he was EXTREMELY upset with Gilbert. He was also releasing his frustration for every time he had been ignored these past few months. Especially since this whole plan started (even though it hadn't been that long) because whenever he went unnoticed, he would come home to a loving Gilbert who made him feel like no one else mattered. But that hadn't been happening, even if it had been just a week.

By the time Matthew calmed down and had slid down the wall, Gilbert had a broken arm and 3 of his ribs were fractured. Despite all of this, Gilbert sat up, wincing, and pulled the sobbing Matthew into his arms, whispering apologies over and over again. He never meant for this to happen and realized how much of a dummkopf he was for not knowing it would turn out like this. His plan was set for disaster from the beginning.

After assessing the damage done, Matthew began to feel guilty despite Gilbert's reassurances that he had deserved it. Matthew patched him up as best he could and when he was done, Gilbert gave him a long, sweet, slow kiss to make up for the week of none at all. Matthew gave a small smile, putting Gilbert's arm into a sling. Even though Matthew had already forgiven his boyfriend, his revenge wasn't over. Far from it.

X

The next morning, Gilbert was confused as to why he was handcuffed to the bed (the arm that wasn't in a sling and his legs). Matthew walked into the room. "Oh good! You're awake!"

"What's happening?"

Matthew simply smiled, holding something behind his back. He walked over to the bed and climbed on, straddling Gilbert's stomach. Gilbert was extremely confused but had an idea as to what was happening, and gott did he hope he was right. Matthew leaned in and Gilbert closed his eyes and- OH GOTT NO NO HE WAS NOT RIGHT OH MEIN GOTT! *extreme mental freakout*

Apparently, Matthew had a small basket in his hand. That basket contained the most horrendous, dreadful thing in the world. The most wretched, absolutely terrible thing in the history of everything. A complete disgrace to all of humanity and nationity. It was so foul, so abhorrent, so atrocious.

It was…

(pause for dramatic effect)

Arthur's scones.

That basket held those godawful scones that should just fall off the face of the Earth. Matthew, however, had different plans for them. As soon as Gilbert closed his eyes, Matthew grabbed one of the appalling scones and shoved it into his lover's mouth, forcing it down his throat. Gilbert felt like he was going to throw up. **(Arthur: Please, my scones are not THAT bad.)** The scones seemed to be having an immediate effect and there was still a heavy Canadian on his stomach, he was handcuffed to his bed, and he had a broken arm. This was not working out in his favor. He thought this torture was over! All he hoped was that it didn't last long.

The scones seemed to hit him harder than they ever have (these had been shoved down his throat before. Many times. His friends were arschlochs) and he needed to _go. Now._ But he was being prevented. Slowly, painfully, Matthew got off of Gilbert, unlocking the cuffs, pausing for long periods of time. He enjoyed watching the way Gilbert squirmed.

(Hey, don't blame Matthew! Gilbert had done way worse things to him! Well, you can judge that for yourself….)

As soon as Matthew allowed Gilbert room to move, the albino shot up and sprinted to the connecting bathroom, shoving his pants off along the way. When he finally made it to the toilet, he glared at the snickering Canadian.

"What the hell was that for?"

Matthew stopped laughing and looked away. He didn't say anything. Gilbert looked sheepish. He had promised. He promised that he would never forget or ignore Matthew, and his stupid little escapade broke that promise.

"Look, I-" Gilbert was cut off by making a strangled noise as his face contorted and he was *ahem* defecating. "The fuck, his scones have never been this bad before." Cue more strangled noises.

"Well, maybe it's due to the laxatives I put in there."

Gilbert's eyes widened. "You what?!"

"You heard me." That smug face held an ever-widening smirk. He did not look sorry. Not one bit. It was slightly unnerving. Gilbert tried to ignore the bursting of his bowels and began thinking of why he started this stupid thing and hoped that everything would be worth it. And that his reasoning was enough to justify his actions.

"Wait you have anti-laxatives, right?" He knew that Matthew always have them lying around. A few nations who found Alfred annoying (all of them do) have tried to poison him with laxatives before. Multiple times. It happens quite often. "Of course."

"And are you planning on giving them to me?"

"Maybe in a week."

"A week? Maaaatttiiiieee!" Matthew smirked, turning and leaving the room. "Waaaaaiiiiittt!"

"Stop whining Gil!"

"But I-" and more undesirable noises escaped his throat as Matthew continued to snicker from a different room.

* * *

 **The story is over :( Yes, yes I know. There was something left unexplained. That part I think is too short for its own chapter but I didn't want to get into that right after this so I am doing the obligatory end author's note first.**

 **That being said, I went to Con+Alt+Delete on December 20! I was cosplaying as China and there was this Hetalia panel that was going to be there. So half an hour before it started, my friends and I were hanging around the booths and vendors near the panel room when I hear "CHINA!" I turn around and it's a group of a bunch of nations! They come up to me and said "We have been looking for a China for months! Would you like to join our panel?" And I was like freaking out! It was my first panel and it was AWESOME!**

 **Here's the link in case any of you might want to check it out:** **watch?v=GVvm8KTl_wI &index=6&list=WL**

 **And this fic was meant to be ONLY comical, but somehow, just the tiniest sprinkle of angst and a lotta fluff managed to work its way in. The sneaky little bastards. But I'm a huge sucker for fluff :P**

 **Okay, so time for the ending. Ready?**

* * *

One month. One month of tiptoeing. One month of near-deafening silence. One month of strangeness. One month of gaining courage. One month of nothing being the same.

Gilbert couldn't take this anymore. They were together, but they were completely distant after his little stunt. Matthew gave him the anti-laxatives after about a day of torture, but they weren't really communicating too much after that. The younger of the two always seemed to be lost in thought, and the elder decided enough was enough.

Matthew was sitting on the couch, reading, completely unprepared for what was to happen next. His arm and ribs had mainly healed by now (nations heal rather quickly) and the Prussian silently strolled over and picked up his boyfriend, throwing him over his shoulder, not without squeaks and protests from him. Gilbert slipped on his shoes and coat, grabbing Matthew's as well and his car keys before walking out of the house.

"What are you doing?" Matthew was met with no reply. He huffed as he was unceremoniously tossed into the front seat of Gilbert's car and his shoes and coat were given to him. He simply stared as his boyfriend carefully closed the door and silently put them on. After a minute or so of driving, Matthew decided to voice his questions. "What is happening? Where are we going?" Silence. He sighed and said nothing for the rest of the drive, opting to stare at the snow and Christmas lights out of the car window.

Once Gilbert parked the car, Matthew knew exactly where they were at. This was the park a little ways away, but not too far, from their house. It seemed like they hadn't come here in ages. It seemed deserted. The place was beautiful by itself, but the snow added to the beauty and serenity of it all with the snow-covered trees and benches, the white powder covering the ground like a blanket. Gilbert got out of the car and opened Matthew's door for him, holding out his hand. Matthew took it and it was quickly enveloped by the warmth of the other's hand. As they walked, Gilbert suddenly spoke up, albeit in a quiet voice that could rival Matthew's. "I'm sorry."

The words startled the younger. They had barely spoken for a while, what was he sorry for? "For what?"

Gilbert looked down guiltily. "Last month."

Realization dawned on Matthew. "It's fine, really. You've already apologized and it's in the past."

"It hasn't seemed like it's fine." Matthew chose to say nothing, unable to form a coherent response. "I never meant for that to end the way it did. I have no idea what I was thinking and I had no right to do that." The other was listening intently as his companion sighed, building the courage to say what he was about to say. "But there was a reason I did any of that in the first place. I already knew almost everything about you. The way your brows furrow and you bite your lip when you're concentrating. How you only wear baggy clothes because you're insecure and they feel extremely comfortable. You're most ticklish on the sides of your stomach. You love everything about rain and snow. You love hockey so much that you withstand getting near Ivan simply so you can beat him, even if he doesn't really remember you often. You blush considerably when you receive a compliment because you never really got them often." At this point, Matthew was already blushing and his face was steadily getting redder. Gilbert had a soft smile on his face, stopping them from walking. Matthew looked around and realized that they were now standing in the middle of the huge0 park. "You are adorable, funny, an amazing cook, loving, awesome, and the best fucking thing in my life, and I'll be damned if I let this silence stretch on any longer because I miss your voice and the way you laugh. I swear it's the sound of tinkling bells." A slight gasp was heard as Gilbert got down on one knee and Matthew's hands flew to cover his mouth.

"The reason for that stupidness was because I know so much about you, except for what types of annoyances you can withstand. I was such a dummkopf and for some reason, I thought that would be a wonderful idea. But it really wasn't and I could never be more sorry. So now," Gilbert paused, withdrew a small, black box from his pocket, opening it. "Matthew Williams, the love of my life, will you marry me?"

He was met with silence and suddenly worried that he had made a mistake somehow. All of his thoughts flew from his head as the widest smile he had ever seen broke out on Matthew's face, who practically screamed out "Oui! Yes!" and tackled his now fiance. They kissed passionately, something they both had missed for the past month. Gilbert slipped the ring onto Matthew's finger as they pulled apart, still hugging each other tightly.

Having learned their lesson, both made sure to always communicate everything. Their lives were never dull when the other was around and they knew their days would always be filled with love.

* * *

 **Now it is officially over! That ending was so fluffy oml. I have now found out that apparently I can't seem to end something without a really cheesy, cliche ending. Oh and I did not proofread so my apologies for any mistakes.**

 **Anyway, thanks for putting up with my hiatuses and for being lovely! ~Nicoli**


End file.
